"The past...it is a changin'..."
Not exactly what Bob Dylan sang, but music is one thing I do not claim any knowledge about. I just listen to it, occasionally sing along in a voice that would make a hyena cry. Please, therefore do not expect me to write about anything musical in this blog, anytime soon.
But, let me get back on topic. The ever-changing past. Of course, by the time you read this, it shall already be in my past. Yet, I have not completed it, so it is currently in my present, stretching out into the future. This constant flow of events from the future to the present, then to the past, is what we call time.
There are two pasts to everything. The "factual past" and the "historical past". The factual past is the sequence in which things actually happened. It directly caused present. The historical past is how we perceive the actual past to have occurred. It may or may not be a very accurate description. However, the historical past is that which influences the future more than the factual past, at least in the case of human behavior.
Have you ever changed your own historical past? I am sure you have. Every time you recall a memory, you change it slightly, based on your current emotions and circumstances. Even while doing something as mundane as deleting the not-very-flattering photos from your digital camera after (or during; if you are such a nitpicker) a holiday, you are influencing how you will recall events in the future.
The factual past does not influence your actions as the historical past does. It is how your perception of the events in the past and your emotions regarding them, that causes you to react in a certain way when anything reminiscent of the same event is encountered in the present or the future. And, those reactions will again interfere with your recollections, altering them over and over again.
Can it be avoided? Perhaps if you could carry a video camera that records each and every interaction and activity, you could document a historical past that is as close to factual as possible. Still, it will only document your outer environment. It will not express your exact emotions or feelings, although you might try to decipher them from your facial expressions. Or, for more scientific data, you might also want to carry a monitor displaying your vital signs (or, if you want even more data, use fMRI- which would probably keep you stuck to one spot, so you might consider a portable multi-channel EEG-NIRS combo which seems to be in vogue these days).
Before I go off on another tangent, which will probably end up in Wikipedia getting a few hits on some of its less popular pages, I bring myself back to the topic at hand and ask this question: Even if you could potentially record your entire life story as well as the exact feeling and bodily responses of every single moment, would you want to?
I know I wouldn't. While sometimes factual memory might be helpful (for example, in remembering the number-plate of the car that just knocked you down and crushed your left big toe when you were jaywalking across the street), it is not something you would want for every event. If you recalled everything exactly, you would find it very difficult to make amends with someone you had an argument with. You would be unable use time as an emotional healer. And, all those embarrassing things you did as a child? Aren't you glad you can laugh them off without having to remember how red-faced you were at the time?
As a writer, it helps that I know that the historical past is different from the factual past. Whenever I write about anything, I can seamlessly (and shamelessly) incorporate false events, emotions and ideas as though they were as real as the factual events. Also, I can (and often do) go one step further.
While most people unknowingly change their historical past, I do so consciously and deliberately as well. This way, I can sideline (or erase, if the need be) conflicting and confusing memories and feelings from my thoughts. Doing so consciously enables me to put a mental bookmark of sorts, so I can remember most of the initial events if I try hard enough. Of course, if there are events that you I not want to place a bookmark in, that is a different story.
Before I close I want you to consider this: Your mind is a time-machine. You may not be able to go back in time and stop yourself from making the "biggest mistake" in your life. But, if you want to, you can go back in your memories and change them, either so that there isn't a mistake in the first place, or so that the "mistake" doesn't negatively influence how you think or act in the future.
Habeas magnum tempor!
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